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Coming Home

Dimensions of homecoming

· Coming home,Welcome Home,Stan Tatkin Hug

After travel

I unlocked the front door, wheeled my bag inside, kicked off my shoes and heaved a massive sigh of relief.

After the long arduous journey, I was home.

I made myself a cup of tea, sank into my favourite chair and put my feet up.

Which of us hasn’t experienced that exquisite joy of being back in the familiar having traversed strange places, met new people, been enveloped in unfamiliar cultures, hearing unfamiliar voices and tongues, tasting others’ favourite foods with a mixture of wonder, anticipation and apprehension, smelling scents that both attract and baffle. We have made our journey, slain our dragons and now we can savour the joys of homecoming while sharing our adventures with others via smart phone, tablet … 

We experience a sense of completion and wholeness. 

Yet there is always more …

Imagine you have survived another day in the maelstrom of work, dealt with intransigent colleagues, sidestepped as best you could the ‘slings and arrows of outrageous fortune’ and are now entering your home. Your significant other is already there. When you enter, he or she stops whatever they were doing, smiles and steps toward you. and embraces you with a full body hug. As you take your time to feel your loved one’s body against yours, you notice all sorts of adjustments going on in your own body: tension flows away, shoulders drop, somehow you have more air in your lungs. You sense similar changes in your partner.  

You are home, both physically where you live, and at another level, home in your body, where it matters. You are both supporting and being supported through your connection with your partner.

For a better understanding of how beneficial this can be, take a look at the video below. 

The modern study of human development from pre-birth to birth and on to the flowering of maturity, Attachment Theory unpacks the theory and practice of our human need for connection, internally with ourselves and externally with others. According to many researchers and clinicians, secure attachment with another or others is a deeply enriching experience that grounds us in a sense of homecoming.

And the good news is twofold.

  • Many of us already experience secure attachment in some degree and 
  • And Secure Attachment, like riding a bike or driving a car, can be learned and improved with practice. 
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